Why are we leaders in the SGI? We have made a commitment to help other people change. The only reason we should take on responsibility in the organization is that we continue to make a commitment to help other people change their life through Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. Each of you is a "life coach" and your job is to teach people how to win in life through Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. The job is coaching; helping each person to keep expanding their capacity. This requires us to constantly use our life to challenge that person to go beyond what is comfortable. You don't become a great athlete, or you don't become a great person without going beyond what is comfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. It means stretching beyond what you think you can do. Getting out of your comfort zone. We must grow beyond expecting it to be easy.
There is a difference between not being easy and having to suffer. How can we use our lives to help people change? Growth can be a joyful challenge. How can we really use our lives to help people really change?
We detach from our members' problems. "Yeah, he/she is suffering with that; I've visited them and tried to encourage them, and I call now and then. How can I help them if they don't have a seeking spirit? There's nothing I can do. It's up to them. We need to go to the next level of learning; of using our ichinen to ensure that our members grow. This has 100% to do with us, not them.
President Ikeda's definition of ichinen: 1996, the last time he was here, I attended a private dinner with about 50 people. He talked about what happened when he became president in 1960. He looked at all of us, without any arrogance.
"When I became the third president of the Soka Gakkai, the organization was in financial debt. There were three dilapidated headquarters buildings in Japan for the members. There were six staff members. That's it. Those were the conditions under which I assumed the presidency. Today, there are 1,300 community and culture centers in Japan alone, for the members to meet at. Our finances are very secure. We have established the Soka school system. Even more than that, Buddhism has spread from Japan to 138 countries (now, 165) around the world." He looked at us and said, "I am telling you this for one reason only. This is what the ichinen of one person can do.
"There was absolutely no arrogance in him; he was trying to share with us the power of prayer, the power of ichinen, such that shoten zenjin would emerge. He was trying to shake up each one of us. We have the same potential. We accept way too little. Wake up! "I'm not special; I'm just an example of what you have.
Every pain, every hurt on account of another human being, engrave it in your heart. Never forget; never do it to another human being."
People teach us through negative example of how not to be, as powerfully as how to be. Some people's mission is to teach through negative example. Our problem is that we separate from them; we don't get that they are a teacher on how to be better. Or, do we turn around and do the same thing? The reason we're there, experiencing that problem, is because it is our mission to find the solution. The solution is never, ever, ever waiting for the other person to change. If we do, we miss our own opportunity to do human revolution.
There was a person who's sister had a child killed by a drunk driver. She spiralled downward in grief. The member was in pain, watching her sister. She was feeling really helpless; "What can I do?" I shared with her an experience I had where I was suffering on account of a senior leader. I was judgemental of her. After two years, I finally remembered Vice President Hasagawa's guidance. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good thing to apply it." It's my mission to find a solution. The answer is only inside of my life. And, a prayer emerged.I would take responsibility through my prayer that the person would be able to win over her own weaknesses.
When you look at another human being you just see them in one moment of their process of their human revolution. At this moment, they may be controlled by the dark side. Like me; for two years, I could not win over being judgmental. We usually think, "They're not doing their best." But it's not about someone doing their best. I realized that's not what it's about. Sometimes things are so deep in our life, it's a process. We have to keep chipping away. This is just another human being working on their own weakness. I take responsibility through my prayer that she has a breakthrough. This is different than praying for someone's happiness. That doesn't work for me. When I am in judgement, it's, "You are so messed up, you need my help." That is not a place of compassion. You can't win until you change your judgement of them into compassion. When I took responsibility, I couldn't chant that prayer without changing myself. Immediately, the prayer had the power to change our relationship.
So, I shared this with that member; it didn't matter that the sister was in another state. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is so powerful, you can reach anyone in the universe "Study the Gosho; believe Nichiren Daishonin when he tells you that it can change immutable karma." Don't just sit back and observe the problem of our members, but ensure their breakthrough.
Within a month, I got an email. She had started chanting that way for her sister. Not only did her sister have a breakthrough over her grief, her sister started chanting. She had tried to shakabuku her for years. Through that prayer, something reached her sister. She is like a new woman. Another sister also started chanting. That prayer is so profound.
As leaders, we have the responsibility and obligation to not be bystanders. We have to learn to use our ichinen to ensure that each person has a victory. With that prayer, we are helping another human being win. What else is Buddhism? We become alive; we become invincible; not shaken by obstacles, by using our life to help someone else win.
This is vital and crucial. Our only function is to help other people grow. In order to do that, we must let go of control. People can't grow if we keep denying them opportunity. Whenever we are in this process, i.e., "I know how to do it the right way," we are reticent to allow someone else to do it because it might not be up to our expectation. No matter how good we are, someone gave us an opportunity at some point. And we weren't good right away. Why do we expect others to be great the first time? And, we don't get better by just doing it again ourselves.
I was in an area where there were these "control freak" women district leaders. The meetings were suppressed. "I'm the district leader; we will do the meeting the way I want." It's not my personal organization; it's all of ours. We have to let go. This is a real test; if you think you're good at something, how many people can you teach to do it even better than you? How do we do it all? We are busy people. Wife, mother, leader, lover. Time management comes down to letting go, and inspiring others to do something. This frees us and gives us more joy in our practice. We need lots of people doing things. Buddhism is not about "you doing more and more and more and more. When we hold on to things, we are not advancing kosen-rufu; we are stifling the development of Buddhism in the world. What is easier in the short term is death in the long run. It is easier for you to do it; but it stifles other people and prevents other people from growing. We keep bogging everything down with an attitude of "it has to be my way or no way."
So many of you say you rarely go for guidance. "I know what they'll say; 'chant.‘" I want to encourage you to change that attitude.
The purpose of guidance to send you back to the Gohonzon with a new attitude. We can't always do that for ourselves because we are too close; just like the part about the eyebrows. We can't see it. And, we think we already know what they are going to say...chant!
One of my leaders said, "The act of opening our life to another human being is the cause to cut the karma in half." We need each other. We need at least a minimum of one good friend; someone you could share your most painful dirt with, and it's OK, you know that person will never reject you. We need somebody who can always help us stay on the straight and narrow. We can't see our own negativity until we are so off-track that to come back, takes tremendous effort. If we are just one step off, it's much easier.
We must challenge ourselves to grow. We need someone to be strict with us to challenge us to grow.
It is absolutely vital that we go for our dreams. As women we are born nurturers. The weak side of nurturers is that we sometimes lose ourselves. This is a disservice. Flip the order, and put yourself first. This is not selfish. Only in going for our own dreams do we have the motivation to get out of bed with enthusiasm. We can't do it because of other's stuff. The burning passion in your own belly is what moves you; it adds a whole dimension of excitement to your life. When you give up on your dreams you give up on yourself.
Leading by example: when you're alive, really challenging life for some purpose, it's infectious to people around you. People closest to you get the worst of you. They deserve the best of you, not the worst. If you put yourself last, they get your worst. Don't be satisfied with the crumbs in life. Don't sit on the curb and watch everyone else go by. I don't think so; I didn't start practicing to watch everybody else win. When you are pursuing your dreams, happiness oozes out of you.
Only with struggles can we win over ourselves and encourage others. It's our experience that allows us to have the conviction in the power of prayer, and take that conviction and put it in someone else's life. Some leaders share everybody else's experiences instead of any of their own; you feel nothing coming from their life. James Hermann quoted, "A fate greater than death is to be dead but still alive." When we give up on our dreams, we are accepting slow death. I don't believe we become happy merely because we chant, or chant for a certain number of years. We become happy because we decide we are going to, and chant from that decision. Failure is no longer an option. "I've decided the obstacle will not win." When we make that decision, fueled by prayer, our life transforms, changes.
We keep going on; accepting; "This practice is too hard." We don't need to accept being unhappy. "I'm taking back control of my life; I refuse to allow suffering to control me." Everything immediately changes; not on the outside, but on the inside.
Enlightenment just as we are. Nichiren Daishonin de-mystifies life. All life has two functions; an enlightened, constructive side, and an unenlightened, destructive side. Nothing in life is all positive or all negative. We have it; everything has it. The circumstances we find ourselves in never define who we are. It's how we choose to use our circumstances are the reason we are the way we are - or the reason we can change.
I can choose to use my circumstances as justification for failure, or choose to use them as a motivating factor to change my life. The world of Buddha exists in every world. I really feel we never need to get rid of anything we go through; fear, doubt, anger. We associate these things with "negative." I used to chant to get rid of them. I decided I need to understand that the world of Buddhahood exists in everything; I should understand there's a constructive side. I chanted to connect with the enlightened side, to transform my life in a positive way.
President Ikeda says, "Persevere without fear or doubt." Honestly, as long as we are human, we'll have fear and doubt. Those are natural. I don't believe he's saying, "You won't have it at all." When we get this point, through chanting I can connect with this point and master it, and no longer fear fear. Now I realize it has a positive side I can always connect to through my prayer. It's my choice; it's a condition we create by winning over the negative side of the doubt and fear to call out the positive.
Never be defeated by the circumstances we find ourselves in. "Faith should never be an obligation; rather, it is our right." Only we can win our happiness. An easy-going life does not lead to happiness. Only when we face life and challenge it can we achieve true happiness.
We must not detach, whether it's in our or a member's life; there's nothing we can't change in our life.
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